Adrianne

My name is Adrianne Shaw and I’ve been blessed to be in recovery since October 24, 2018. I was a broken spirit and lost soul who had no desire to live. I suffered with Mental Illness which I used street drugs to maintain my highs and lows. Jails and Institutions became a safe haven to protect me from killing myself. I prayed for a way out but didn’t know how to escape my own hell. God answered my prayers not in a way I expected but in a way I needed on October 23,2018. While in disciplinary lock in, I was only able to attend H&I’s AA every Monday where I started taking suggestions and transforming the old me into the new me. A lady suggested I make subtle changes like flip my hair to the other side so I can learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. I started telling myself “I Am Enough” when I looked into the mirror. I have an affirmations board to remind myself how awesome I am when I start doubting myself. I also have to remind myself not to expect myself in others which allows me to accept people just the way they are. No right or wrong just different perspectives. I have an amazing support network and recovery coach whom I confide in. I only surround myself with people in recovery which helps keep it green for me. I try and remain open to suggestions on how to deal with life on life’s terms. All suggestions are free and the only ones I pay for are the ones not taken. I try and live an open and honest life. I let fear, shame, and guilt hold me hostage and hidden for 28yrs. I’m not ashamed of anything I’ve done because they made me the woman I am today. I went from not being involved with my family for years to now being a mother to my daughter, a daughter to my mother, a sister to both of my sisters, and an aunt to my nieces and nephew. I went from them planning my funeral to being proud how I live my life today. I was once lost and now am present. I do step work to learn how to love myself and mend my broken soul. I look at life as an adventure and can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings but most of all I enjoy the here and now moments. I wouldn’t trade my worst day clean for my best day high. I’d like to say to all the men and women, there’s enough crowns for all of us to be the kings and queens we become. We should help one another fix our crowns when they slip because this is a “WE” program and I couldn’t have done it alone. I want to thank all the strong, beautiful, loving people who have helped me on my recovery journey; Drug Court, Riverside, Twin Counties, ACCA, Second Chances, members of all fellowships, and all the recovering community whom I’m grateful to call my family today. Most of all, I want to thank my amazing family for never giving up on me. It works if you work it, so work it because YOU ARE WORTH IT!